Migraines and ulcers / Touchdowns, fumbles, turnovers / Giants piss me off

Sexy ass bastard / Livin life with a big dick / could be deluded.

So why no girlfriend / My Bosslady just asked me / I'd rather just fuck

Is it camouflage / When black people wear dark brown / Or am I just dumb?

Fuckin' haiku bug / Burrows deep into my brain / Counting up the beats.

Marie likes her tea / Flowered and insulated / Insert teabag jokes.

The big topic is / Sexual harassment stuff / Ruins my dirty poems.

Gabiii has suede boots / And wants to cut her hair / And is now engaged.

Applebottom jeans / Red lips and come fuck me boots / Lovely Isabel.

Perfume fills my nose / Randy thoughts run through my mind / Turgid in my pants.

I love vagina / It is my bestest buddy / Om nom nom nom nom.

Wouldn't it just suck / If she texted during sex? / Good thing I'm well hung.

Gabiii in my lap / And the two holes in her pants / A dirty combo.

Talk Spainish to me / my little mamacita / get me tumescent.

My pervy haikus / May not illuminate minds / But they make me smile.

Interviewing folks / Can be a pretty fun time / If she's super hot.

burrito breath sucks / hunger before class sucks too / need to combo break.

Already beat up / But it's just the second day / Son of a bitch, man.

You know what I need? / Well give me the answer then. / All I know is twat.

Got late night heartburn / Medical Marijuana / Wont help me with this.

Who am I kidding? / Medical Marijuana / Helps with everything.

That show Jersey Shore / Makes me feel like a genius / Bunch of Rhodes Scholars.

Book of Eli rocked / Twas much like Zatoichi / Too God damn awesome.

Blowin the doja / Layin cozy in my bed / Smilin at the cold.

I love wake and bake / Permanent smile on my face / Procrastination.

Gabiii likes wierd shit / V-Necks and Capris on guys / And high pitched screaming.

Avatar looks gay / But everyone's watching it / It's Brokeback Spaceships.

Dick is half awake / A slow ride plays in my mind / Not the Donkey Show.

Mouth still dry from pot / Head still quite a bit empty / Life of a pot head.

Upskirts can be bad / Just how can you alert her / But not weird her out?

I can do magic / Women burst to tears and shake / The Cervix Jostler!

Rise of the Lycans / Has werewolves that look so fake / You'll change the channel.

In gumpier days / I avoided introitus / What a fuckin tard.

Nobody in class / I shoulda smoked my ganja / Good citizenship.

Baby name story? / Who the fuck gives a left nut / Bout that stupid shit.

Laverne and Shirley / Are good names for little girls / Beats Isabella.

Don't hate on me, Broad / You know you love my haikus / And my package, too.

HERE WE GO again / you trying to talk shit, or / Singing Whitesnake songs?

Look here woman, I / got your cmon son right here / Don't make me spank you.

Mouth is watering / Smiling at my fave classmates / Want to eat pussy.

Scientists denied / Existance of the G-Spot / Virgins don't know shit.

This class is so hot / And it has a low ceiling / A sort of Nerd Cave.

The Big D pulsates / The way Liza would put it / An imp calling names.

Bad news of the day / School might try to kill the press / Fuck them bitch niggas.

Fastidiousness / For the anal retentive / Goes by unnoticed.

I like chat roulette / Even though it's retarded / Could see a girl strip.

Who made up push-ups? / Unless we're talkin bout bras / I want none of it.

Searching for typos / Isn't it so God damn fun? / Like a foreskin rip.

I just watched Food Inc / Business worse than the slaughter / Change my consumption?

Gay dude ogles me / X-Ray vision on my schlong / The price of sexy.

I should write a book / "Confessions of an Assman" / Foreword by Clinton.

Haiku on Twitter / Is the muthfuckin bomb / But fuck Twitter though.

At some point I'll try / Performing analingus / Now it's too scary.

No pointless updates / Reveals a gap in my soul / Ignoring twitter.

Slightly chilled butt cheeks / Damp jeans sticking to my thighs / Do laundry sooner.

No problem too big / Insecurity? Not me / Hung like a donkey

It seems my last tweet / Was 7 7 7 / Some kind of jackpot?

I like being high / Interesting trending topics / Friends pics look better.

Making new haikus / Can be mentally taxing / And look like kid's math.

Chiefin on resins / Watchin this Mildred Pierce shit / But not really though.

Poor Susan Lucci / Forced to be a real actress / And try a new role.

Computer chord broke / Cant find book rental e mail / moving too, great day.