We love Derek Roy / So say Celino & Barnes / That's why I hate him.

Female coworker / Comes in from out in the cold / Can't keep eye contact.

Last night after work / BOTH pets had crapped inside house / What's in store tonight?

Dentist talks to you / With both his hands in your mouth / How can you respond?

Office is empty / As you itch yourself downstairs / Someone else walks by.

Its a Miracle / Thought we'd all be dead by now / Swing Flu Pandemic

She mocks dumb Palin / She is a super hot nerd / I love Tina Fey

Clean shaven today / Playoff beard starting from scratch / Lets go Buffalo!

Playoffs start today / I'm excited and nervous / Please don't talk to me

Butterfly Stomach / Starting to Grow One For Team / Sabres

Office overrun / Its Take Your Kid to Work Day / Glad I Don't Have one

Pretending to work / When you have no work to do / Freaking exhausting

With no computer / Being at work is torture / Help me tech support.

My phone and Ipod / Kicked the crap out of laptop / Die, laptop, just die.

Wish I remember / What it feel like to follow / Relevant sports teams

Where are you right now? / I'm mayor of I Don't Care / Foresquare is stupid.

Tell immature jokes / To those who are all grown up / Get blank stares, not laughs.

Old school and bluesy / Greater than most bands today / Rock on, The Black Keys

If you talk to me / And I leave my headphones on / It means I don't care

Seen anteaters' tongues? / They're long, flexy and useful / I'm not hung like one.

My anaconda / Don't want none unless you got / Buns hon- Mix-A-Lot

Thought that by now we / Were all supposed to be dead / Swine Flue Pandemic.

Which is the answer / That will end conversation / THAT is my answer

The third of July / Is best spent with beer in hand / And a couch on ass

World Cup is awesome / Turns out I love soccer one time / In every four years

Lotus Notes' spell check / Does not know the word 'boobie' / Replaced with 'boobies'.

The few of my things / Not covered all in pet hair / All smell like cat pee

Young people at work / To me, you're my age, to you / I'm old gray haired dork

Jose Bautista / Will hit 600 home runs / Before A-Rod does.