I am on Twitter / one haiku per day my goal / we'll see how it goes.

Lady Gaga says / she hates money and the truth. / Wanna switch places?

"The Matrix" was wrong / I know that there is a spoon / 'Cause I can eat soup.

I'll bet my iPhone / would get great 3G service / inside the Death Star.

I know when you say / "I adore you," in Klingon / you're still a virgin.

The lettuce alone / would speak for its accused friend / "Please! Give Peas a chance!"

I never had an / an imaginary friend / until I met you.

Rednecks, fireworks / unwanted plague near my house / thank God it's raining.

Fam is heading home / used my mom-cation to clean / dear God, I'm so old.

When I am grown up / I want to be happy, rich / and twenty again.

Can't follow new friends / Does twitter think I'm diseased? / That I have twerpes?

Netflix and Hulu / only can get you so far / God, I miss cable.

My Florgenstorgen / and Skoldsen match perfectly / Thank you, Ikea!

Proud, staunch arrogance / flailing with futility / "Not sleepy, Mama!"

Three teardrop tattoos / Asks, "Y'all have a Daddy?" / Don't know what to say.

A nap and a drink. / Couple hours undisturbed / Little grown-up dreams.

Exceeds Atlas' strength / Will overcome by physics / My head hits the desk.

I got a new job. / It has all my attention. / I'll start writing soon.

A hole in your heart / Bottomless, unending black / Wishing you some peace.For Adrian Hamilton's parents

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam / Wonderful Spam, Spam, Spam / The wonderful Spam.

Never so helpless / Faced with unfathonable pain / of a much loved friend.

Why am I tired? / There is no reason for it. / I just brained all day.

Sorry so absent. / I had to get some stuff done. / I'm back now-miss me?