Is this neighborhood / Really changing, or have I / Turned into my Dad?

I hate to say it / The neighborhood I once loved / Destroyed by hipsters

If you take Greenpoint / Add public transportation / It's Astoria!

Enough already / With all these long-ass skateboards / Go back to Brooklyn!

Get your tight-ass jeans / And your tiny western-shirt / To the Beer Garden!

That's not a terrace / Dude, it's a fire-escape! / I heart L.I.C.

I friggin hate this / Oppressive humidity / Big-time bad-hair day!

Astoria has / The most activity on / Craigslist personals.

How can anyone / Afford to smoke cigarettes / In New York City?

As much as I want / A Trader Joe's or Fairway, / I love mom and pop.

What is this "hipster?" / Man with twenty-eight inch waist? / Eat something, would ya?

My haiku are tight. / You counting my syllables? / Not necessary.

A new bagel shop? / Across from Brooklyn? / LOL'ing hard.

A new bagel shop? / Across from Brooklyn Bagel? / LOL'ing hard.

I've never seen "Curb." / Refuse to be held hostage / By one Time Warner.

My, what an eyesore! / O.T.B. on 31st. / What will take your place?

Ya-ya doesn't care / About your portfolio; / Just rent every 1st.

The Asian hipster / Is way more tolerable, / Cause I know they're smart.

The souvlaki guy / Near Gap Kids on Steinway Street / So overrated

90-degree days / Plus ConEd activity / Makes me real nervous.

Gropers going wild / Influx of chicks from Midwest / Make easy targets

Hey "Anonymous!" / Hack Pandora so I get / Unlimited skips!

I'd love to replace / Every bank and nail salon / With patisseries.

This cool, crisp evening / Suggests Bohemian Hall, / Despite the hipsters.

Thanks Alternate Side! / Threat of a violation / Great motivator!

There's a secret place / In every New York borough / Free from hipsters. Shhhh!

I am so tired. / Jeans are too loose. Need haircut. / I am so tired.

So apparently, / Haiku can be anything. / I think that's cheating.

Hey, let's play Scrabble. / We don't even need a board. / So minimalist!

Steamy night in Queens / Iced coffee at 10PM / Appropriate? Yes!

Great neighborhoods are / Completely impervious / To shitty weather.

I take it all back / Impervious shmervious / This weather sucks balls

Waiting for a dove / To bring me an olive branch / Safe to go out yet?

Once the rain subsides / What will we all talk about? / Beer, food, and coffee.

In the pouring rain, / Ya-Ya still sweeping her steps; / Pride of ownership.

Swimming's cool and all / But I would never, ever / Swim in a dumpster.

Summer speeding by / Almost halfway through August / I hate this feeling.

Again with the clouds? / A little sun would be swell. / Damp and dreary day.

It's beautiful out! / Feeling rejuvenated. / I'm in love again!

Ask me for advice- / Then completely ignore it? / Don't ask me again.

August night, cool breeze / Windows down, streets are silent / Won't last very long

Anyone notice / When the N train pulls away / A violin sound?

This misty morning / Has me craving hot chocolate / Is summer over?

Bike lanes are pretty / But cars are oblivious / Be careful New York!

Brand new Weber grill / Culinary conjury / In my own backyard

Ignore the forecasts! / You must make plans this weekend. / Summer's almost gone!

Weather annoying / You need to pick a genre / And just stick to it

FF me hardcore / All day, over and over / I can handle it

In Gimme! Coffee, / Hipster takes out his wallet / Tyvex envelope?

Please baby don't stop / FF me relentlessly / Of course I love you!

High cost of living / And expensive apartments / Keep hipsters at bay

Guys- it's only rain. / Haven't we seen this before? / Get wet and enjoy!

Not quite "cats and dogs" / Way heavier, more severe- / More like "cows and hogs?"

Biblical rainfall / Still didn't kill this weekend / Hope yours was good too!

Is it possible / That she loved the "Master Race?" / Hile, Coco Chanel!

Three hundred fifty. / It's Staten Island's birthday! / I'm still not going.

I am powerless / Against this perfect weather / MUST DRINK BEER OUTSIDE.

Put down the smartphone / Pick up your head, look around / Enjoy this fine day!

Micro brews. Craft beers. / Overwhelmed by the options. / Maybe just Guinness?

Earlier today / Saw Ya-Ya beating the shit / Out of her carpet

A smartphone owner / Who completely ignores texts / Should be stoned. Like dead.

I should be sleeping / Counting syllables instead / A labor of love

Along with haiku / I'm also gonna kill it / With stunning photos

"G" in Gadhafi? / Or is it spelled with a "K?" / Does anyone know?

Shake, rattle and roll / Astoria rocking hard / Grab a beer and chill

OMG, earthquake! / Beer sales rise dramatically. / That's the real story!

L.I.C. is safe / Hipsters too lazy to loot / Busy being "hip."

Please don't compare this / With Haiti and / or Japan

We react to this / Same way the west-coast reacts / To bullshit rainfall.

Aftershock parties / All over Astoria / Brace yourself, baby!

Aftershocks likely? / Was bracing myself for it / Now feeling empty

The serrated edge / On a TP dispenser / Is friggin useless

Quake before the storm? / Get your beers and galoshes / Button-up and drink

Alphabetically / Hurricane before "Irene" / Was "Hipster." Missed it.

Ditmars area / Doesn't have great Chinese food / Desperate for dim sum

Almost two-hundred! / Some spammers but most are real. / Thanks for following!

The "Millennial." / Just a hipster with a job / And looser clothing.

For the next few days / Pick your spots and still get out / Irene's a hipster

Sit down, close your eyes / Irene's gonna blow you hard / Won't know what hit you

Irene will pound you / Just hold on and enjoy it / It helps to be drunk

These storm-track "models" / Ensure that the weather-guys / Can never be wrong

Irene is nasty / Isn't that how we like it? / Look her in the eye

This ain't even it / This little sprinkle ain't shit / This storm ain't legit

Cows and hogs again? / I used that one already. / I'll get back to you.

Got plans tomorrow. / And Saturday. And Sunday. / And I'm keeping them.

Full tank of diesel / Not even worried at all / Six-hundred mile range

No haiku this morn / I'm preparing for Irene / Fit more FFs too

Don't like it this way / It seems so impersonal / I prefer haiku

Need a good FF / Break-up and make-up FF / That's the best FF

Will you be the one? / FF I'll never forget? / What's my name baby?

FF me again / One last time before you leave / You know I'm the best

Enough about that / No more apologizing / I am over it

Trader Joe's madhouse / Was lucky to get some milk, / Bread, et cetera

Category One? / Irene has lost her luster / It's only rain, right?

The floods are coming / Ya-ya's still sweeping sidewalk / That's dedication.

More stupidity. / Don't you dare compare this storm / With Hurricane K.

Hurricane Irene / A full-on Monet; up close- / It's a big old mess

Wish all of you well / Eyes are closing, can't fight it / Goodnight LIC

So quiet right now / False sense of security / Brace yourself people!

Knee-jerk reaction / Bloomie compensating for / The snowpacalypse

Feel it in the air? / I think Hurricane Irene / Has ended summer.

Grey sky, foliage / Swirling about, indicate / An early autumn.

The morning after / What were we talking about / Prior to Irene?

With the wind and rain / Irene also brought with her / Long sleeves and long pants

Six A.M. dark now / Pull duvet over my head / God damn it Irene

My corduroy pants / Have made their first appearance / Wardrobe by Irene

The coffee vacuum / In the Ditmars area / So disappointing

OMF'in G / Tomorrow is September / Where'd the summer go?

September is here / Elation and depression / Pulling me apart

Doesn't get better / Than Rosario's pizza / So underrated

I hope you and your / Tiny friggin' handlebars / Crash but don't get hurt

Could this really be / The last weekend of summer? / Make it count people!

Sipping it slowly / One of the last iced coffees / Twenty eleven

Before you know it / People will be ordering / Pumpkin spice lattes

Two more days ladies / White pants and shoes in storage / Wear 'em hard right now!

Will barbeque HARD / On this last summer weekend / And I'll drink HARDER

Steamy, summer night / A cold, crisp, refreshing ale / Will cut right through it

Coffee is like wine / Meant to be sipped and discussed / Talk about complex!

Ignoring the fact / That tomorrow is goodbye / Is my only hope

This overcast sky / Basically a welcome-mat / Fall is knocking now

Anyone notice / The Port Authority LOVES / Martha's Bakery?

Twenty-four-seven / Astoria, New York is / The U.N. of food.

Summer mugginess / Refusing to let us go / Fall will have to wait

I'll ask the question / What will hipsters celebrate / On this Labor Day?

The voice of reason / I usually don't hear it / Selective deafness

Brooklyn please relax / We could really do without / All of this violence

Brooklyn's my hometown / The rich part, but nonetheless / I hate to see this

I know you feel that. / Time for denial is done / "Small hot-chocolate please."

I am soaking wet / But not in a sexy way / A cats-and-dogs way

Can we even have / A God damn conversation / Face to face these days?

Instead of feeling / I have to confirm feelings / On the Internet.

Mobile devices / Are legalized slavery / Dominating me

It's therapeutic / To bad-mouth this medium / Fact is, I LOVE IT

My wardrobe choices / Are infinitely better / The cooler it gets

Autumn in the air / There's no denying it now / Jackets, jeans and boots

Almost lost an eye / There's umbrella etiquette! / Pay attention fool!

I will dominate / A Five Guys burger and fries / Before C.O.B.

Hipster measurements / Guy with a twenty-five inch waist / Six-one, eighty pounds.

Hipster measurements / Guy with twenty-five inch waist / Six-one, eighty pounds.

I'm okay with fall / But I hate the back-and-forth / A

Getting annoying / Really relentless raining / I'll just keep drinking

An iced-coffee day! / I wasn't expecting this / I'll take advantage

Isn't every week / Fashion Week in N.Y.C.? / What's so different now?

You can always tell / When someone gets an FF / Grinning ear-to-ear

I'm thinking of you / You're so good, I just can't stop / You sexy FF

No words, just silence / We both know what we're here for / The urge to FF

How much do you drink / That you need "skinny" cocktails? / Oh wait, nevermind

Pushing agendas / You live your life, I'll live mine / Thank you very much

Tonight I'm thinking / I'll get a little saucy / And drunk-FF you

Desperately in need / Of something cold and hoppy / Where should I meet you?

Panoramic roof / Will be wide open fo sho / On my commute home

As luck would have it / "Trattoria L'Incontro" / Seven syllables.

Kinda overcast / But it's still comfortable out / Sprinkles feel great too

So proud of myself / I got to three-hundred-plus / All without cleavage

Lovin' the Open / Love, fifteen, thirty, forty / Love Wozniacki

Love serve-and-volley / Love everlasting rallies / I love comebacks too

Huge dry-cleaning run / Can't wait for the temp to drop / So I can dress nice

New York IS different. / Yes, we're all Americans / But it happened HERE.

You see where I am? / You should thank your lucky stars / You aren't with me.

Can't do it justice / We all lost something that day / Some more than others

Food options are sparse / Going to need bigger pants / Just like the locals

Cap thing is over / Mets, Finest, Bravest, moved on / More important things

Hardcore coffee snob / Imagine how that's going / In West Virginia

A beer before bed / Nighttime treat, or bad habit? / It's like Groundhog Day.

"That 70's Show" / So friggin incredible / I forgot how good

That little white space / On the red Verizon map / That is where I am

Sick of PowerPoint / Sick of monotone voices / Sick of fast-food joints

A&W / Have I hit rock bottom yet? / We'll have to find out!

Saw the Harvest Moon / Down here in West Virginia / It was so worth it

The one thing I've learned / A sunrise is a sunrise / Now that's real training

Mountain State Brewing / Miner's Daughter Oatmeal Stout / That's my

Added some culture / To my empty surroundings / Mission accomplished

Drank another float / Christ that's two nights in a row / I am a local

Single girl hooks up / With single guy in college / This ain't a story

Been drinking alone / It's somewhat therapeutic / Short-term distraction

Okay, so right now / Motel room was assaulted / By a real-life skunk

Everything's deep fried / I know it sounds delicious / But it gets old. Quick.

It's getting colder / Loving the change of seasons / Crisp, cool, refreshing

I think iced coffees / Are now done for the season / Hot cocoa baby!

That first hot chocolate / Overloaded with whipped-cream / Welcoming autumn

I think I've texted / The "F" word so many times / My iPhone learned it

I hit four-hundred! / A thank-you is in order / Nothing without you.

Like a virgin, hey! / Touched for the very first time / FF'in virgin

OMFFG / My favorite day of the week / TGIFF

Late night FFing / Has me spent and exhausted / Tomorrow, it's on

Per "Wedding Crashers" / MD's "Crabcakes and football." / Yeah, that's all they got.

Low-ass battery / Long-ass trip up I-nine-five / No haiku for you!

A good cup of Joe / Worth every mile per gallon / Keurig, I've missed you!

Real quick turnaround / Less than 36 hours / Already depressed

Buenos dias tweeps! / A sunny, crisp, cool morning / So good to be home

I'm dreading Sunday / My visit, temporary / Back to class Monday

I think it's safe now / To put away the A / C's

Astoria cream / Always rises to the top / Bots don't stand a chance

Might very well be / The nicest day of the year / Go out and kick-ass

"That 70's Show" / And shitloads of bottled beer / Hello Wisconsin!

Yeah something about / My cool Astoria girl / Baby you and I

Stuffed and want to die / Gained twenty pounds at dinner / Not at all worth it

My coffee crisis / Comes to a close this Friday / Cuckoo for caffeine

Thursday and Friday / I can see the finish line / God I hate running

Sometimes yes means no. / At no time does no mean yes. / You hear me [insert 2-syllable abuser's name here]

Sometimes yes means no. / At no time does no mean yes. / You hear me [insert 2-syllable abuser's name here]?

Last night on business / Won't miss Ranson, West VA / Will miss Chick-fil-A

The closest I got / To an espresso beverage / Gas station cafe

Puddles gather rain / Thoughts arrive like butterflies / Now I'm down in it

Baby I'm tired / Can we FF tomorrow? / It'll be worth it

If all of your tweets / Have a URL in them / Not gonna follow

Muggy and humid / Fall needs to kick in the door / I wanna wear tweed

Won't take for granted / Real coffee and real bagels / So good to be home

Hey, West Virginia / Fake eggs and cinnamon buns / Aren't real breakfast!

Something so charming / About mom-and-pop places / "Baby, honey, doll"

Hating this weather / Sweltering and confusing / Waiting for autumn

There is no such thing / As internet privacy / Stop acting surprised

Google turns thirteen / Therefore becomes stubborn and / Uncooperative

I hate Time Warner / Monopolistic mofos / We need FiOS here

Wasn't meant to be / Never really had a chance / You're not built for me

Riding for MS / This Sunday, October 2 / I hope I make it

Not really worried / My equipment is superb / That's all that matters

I can't wait to see / Hipsters with singlespeed bikes / Negotiate hills

Tiny handlebars / Need not apply this Sunday / Hipsters please stay home!

I've always wondered / What a group FF is like / I will let you know

Instead of Wall Street / I'll occupy my backyard / With an ice cold beer

It's finally here / Break out the Patagonia / Fall is upon us

It's that first crisp night / Windows open, fresh duvet / Cool, comfortable sleep

I said it before / Open your bedroom windows / This is October

MLB coverage / On TBS / TNT

Grab some shuteye now / For a long day tomorrow / Am I prepared? No!

30 miles, no sweat / Thanks for the supportive words / Mad love to my tweeps!

Jackets, cardigans / Cold-weather clothing, oh my! / There's no place like fall

Folks of all ages / Riding rusty, backyard bikes / They all made me smile

Wearing wool today / The itchiness reminds me / That I love autumn

I find this weather / Actually motivates me / I move with purpose

In my former life / I was a retail guru / Wise beyond my years

Anyone hear that? / Hot cocoa screaming my name / Screaming your name too

Heard Kim Deal today / The bong in this reggae song / Wow that takes me back

Trimming my Twitter / Following lots of garbage / Will you make the cut?

Apple, once again / Makes me feel inadequate / Got 4S envy

Jesus, 4 Christ's sake / Is that what we waited 4? / 4S and not 5?

In my heart I see / You're not being true to me / Let's stop this tonight

One of those moments / You'll remember where you were / When you heard the news

Can't help but wonder / Who will continue his work? / Massive shoes to fill

I'm kinda speechless / Surely I didn't know him / Somehow, he knew me

I'm not a "fan-boy" / But I am a huge fan of / Pretty things that work

Such mixed emotions / For a man I've never met / But still seem to know

Hungry and foolish / Seem like polar opposites / Secret to success

Now it's up to you. / What will you do with your time? / Dent the universe?

This friggin weather / I don't want 80 degrees / I want 64

I'm done with summer / Hopefully this is the end / Global warming sucks

Missing in action / Haven't been on much, I know / Roaming's pricey eh

So glad to be home / I really like it up there / But LOVE it down here

I didn't take pics / But believe me when I say / They got hipsters too!

You feelin' that chill? / Is autumn finally here? / I friggin' hope so

All of a sudden / I'm feeling iPhone envy / 4S looks damn good

Twenty-two-hundred / How many times I've tweeted / This is just the start!

Oh crap, I caught you / Bathing-suit for underwear / Laundry night baby

Hooky tomorrow / Filled with anticipation / Apple store maybe?

Hipster park-dwellers / Political activists / A fine line I guess

Hipsters on fixies / Yes, it's good transportation / But just so cliche

I am powerless / Corporate, capitalist whore / Getting new iPhone

Sunday New York Times / Features Vernon Boulevard / Real Estate Section

I'm really nervous / Outta the game for a while / A date with Siri

Leaves getting crunchy / Cloudier, darker, colder / Nature is perfect

This weather just begs / For hoppy and hearty beers / Nature is perfect

Cold, gray and drizzling / Standard autumn procedure / Nature is perfect

Love cloudy and cold / But the drenching, soaking rain / I could do without

One thing about rain / Madly in love with the smell / Nature is perfect

It's horizontal / It's wind-driven, it's pelting / It's today's rainfall

Damp, recovering / Dry spots forming on pavement / Umbrellas closing

Options are endless / Culinarily speaking / In Astoria

I didn't forget / About Long Island City / They're one and the same

A chill in the air / Curled up on my brown club chair / Last beer; so unfair!

Right wing or Left wing / U.S. Troops returning home / Always a good thing

On a lighter note / When the hell is Watawa / Gonna be complete?

Just Burgers opens / Just before Bareburger does / Just competition

"Brunch" is pure genius / Gives me an excuse to eat / Steak Frites for breakfast

Astoria gets / Yet another perfect day / Don't want it to end

Barbershop gossip / Off Track Betting replaced by / FIVE NAPKIN BURGER?

Middle of nowhere / Top of the United States / Northern Exposure

39º / I'm totally unprepared / For a week in Maine

Saw a fox today / Relaxing on the shoulder / Nature is perfect

Dial-up memories / My internet connection / Unbearably slow

For some strange reason / Hotels and motels promote / Shady behaviors

Good thing about Maine / The most expensive of beers / Only four dollars

My old Minolta / I wonder where it is now? / Kept film in my fridge

The coldness up here / An edge that cuts through layers / Like wearing nothing

Ate way too early / But this ain't Astoria / So there's no options

Foliage past peak / Colors are still amazing / Wish I rode shotgun

Supposed to snow here / Which means I'm totally screwed / Rear-wheel-drive sedan

Busy busy day / I'm coming home tomorrow / Counting the seconds

I failed to perform / My Follow-Friday duties / F'ing exhausted

Don't have a shovel / Don't have any salt either / Do have beers in fridge

Leftover candy / Once again, overprepared / Oh well, I'll eat it

Well, it's November / Put a band-aid on daylight / Marathon Sunday

Sagittarius / Not an astrology guy / But that's what I am

It's November 1st / Pumpkin, potpourri and pie / Stuff fall is made of

Long Island City / This Sunday, November 6th / Cheer on those runners!

That subtle soreness / And that dripping sensation / This season's first cold

Is it possible / to abuse Vitamin C? / 'Cause I think I am

Can a neighborhood / Reach a saturation point / With good restaurants?

Moral dilemma / I already brushed my teeth / But I want a beer

It feels like Sunday / Yesterday, like Saturday / Friday off does that

Hey Connecticut / Queens knows power outages / We feel for you guys

Anyone notice / Acropolis is nasty / On every level

Anyone hear that? / .22 caliber shots / Pretty sure I did

Shovels, then short-sleeves / Nature is undecided / Like the rest of us

Blanket of darkness / Eerie feeling, too early / Don't like this one bit

Savor this day folks / You will be knee-deep in slush / In a few short weeks

It's an illusion / I don't want you to get hurt / This ain't fall weather

Another warm night / I'll kick duvet off the bed / Sorry Calvin Klein

Well hello, hipsters! / Been easy on you lately / Vacate my hood, NOW!

Super rich hipsters / A little too ironic / I really do think

Dry, cracked cuticles / Delayed, kept at bay, for now / Thanks wacky weather!

Choice was obvious / An absolute no-brainer / No kudos for you

How dark will it get? / Happy Valley rabbit-hole / It might get much worse

Here's to the brave ones / Wishing you the happiest / Of Veteran's Days

Although it's been warm / Sun goes down, you feel the bite / Cold won't be denied

A strange sensation / Super dark, super early / But still so warm out

Hazy, summer sky / It's a grayish, amber hue / What season is this?

10 minutes ago / It was broad-friggin-daylight / WTF?

Remember my words / Begging for proper weather / I'll be eating them

OWS / No tents, no bags, no cameras / WTF?

Today's not Friday? / Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck / Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Gummy bears and wine? / O-M-F'in-G hell yes! / Unprecedented

Outside my window / An optical illusion / Weather playing tricks

Unruly weather / Warm, cool, rain, muggy, darkness / It's November, right?

The leaves are soggy / They're supposed to be crunchy / This isn't Autumn

An earlier start / Responsible worker-bee / Just doing my thing

Autumn hitting hard / Finally, sweater-weather / But I'm unprepared!

Gridlock-alert-day / The first one of the season / With the cold, feels right

Keeping people safe / Blindly following orders / Aren't the same thing

A peaceful protest / Can turn violent and ugly / Ask London, Oakland

RCN fighting / Time Warner monopoly / At my apartment

It's the back and forth / The 35-degree swing / What season is this?

A word of advice / Use this November heat-wave / To put up your lights!

In our neighborhood / It's all there for the taking / Go out and TAKE IT

With weather like this / I find it impossible / To think of snowflakes

Pathetic dog-park / You with me Astoria? / Unacceptable!

Look out the window / Landscape finally feels right / Gray, orange and brown

I write more haiku / While working at my day-job / Than on my days off!

On this Thanksgiving / Incredibly thankful for / Friends and followers

Hate to spend this day / Behind the wheel in gridlock / I'm too old for that

Our door is open / Family and friends are welcome / This way I can drink

Thanksgiving haiku / Now in the mood for sushi / Turkey tempura?

Massive distances / Covered by out-of-towners / I'm thankful for that

The perfect dinner / Covering all the bases / Happens once a year

You made brussels sprouts! / For the love of god, tell me / There's bacon in there

FF is over / Always leaves you wanting more / Next time I'll show you

Extra long weekend / Tomorrow will feel the same / Another Sunday

Cooler temperatures / Now feeling appropriate / May I wear my vest?

Unfortunately / Christmas lights in this city / Are mainly brake-lights

That summer weather / Is finally gone for good / Wardrobes will rejoice!

Crispy morning air / December won't be denied / Nature is perfect

In case you forgot / Steinway bumper-to-bumper / Sign of the season

Gap Kids for outfits / Steinway Street, got in and out / Tactical Haiku

Drafty apartment / And an absentee landlord / Wait, I'm the landlord!

I'm going insane / This ridiculous weather / Can it just get COLD?

In New York City / Intermediate seasons / Are gone forever

Staple of winter / My unlined velvet blazer / Dying to wear you

We will miss your speed / We will miss your energy / We'll just plain miss you

A misty morning / It's actually refreshing / This is more like it

I can't see my breath / So it's not really winter / What season is this?

Don't have a tree yet / There's no sense of urgency / When it feels like spring

Thank you in advance / For RTs, quotes and mentions / Y'all know I love you.

A wet day outside / But a drought with my haiku / Day-job distracting!

Seriously though / There's no better neighborhood / Than Astoria

Souvlaki. Tacos. / Bagels. Pad Thai. Falafel. / Astoria is.

College Point is weird / It has lots of potential / But just can't break through

Among other things / Confusing identity / A major problem

There's a lot of good / I'm digging that it's "low-rise" / The views are preserved

Oh, alternate side / Predictable, tormenting / I hate you right now

Nature F's around / 60 degrees tomorrow / December, really?

A busy weekend / And a haiku-less timeline / Angry followers?

I'm sick of Twitter / Changing layouts overnight / I'm totally LOST

"Serious" haiku / They just aren't my strong suit / Stick to what I know

I'll literally / Be "Home for the Holidays" / There's no place like it

Death in the family / Reunites those gone astray / The silver lining?

The sounds, smells and tastes / My senses bringing me back / To 1980

A whirlwind round-trip / Three days and twelve-hundred miles / Toronto and back

Sugarplums dancing / And all that other good stuff / I'll eat the cookies

Christmas hiatus / Boxing Day sabbatical / Back soon, I promise!

Life and death hit hard / Death part is just a speed-bump / Life part steamrolls on

My siblings and I / Haven't been in the same car / For twenty-plus-years

Carried your coffin / Put you safely in the ground / I owe you much more

I wanted a dog / Now I'm babysitting one / Reconsidering

Just saw some Greek dude / Cursing at his garbage bags / That's my neighborhood

On garbage-day eve / Greek landlords, naughty and nice / Await their Saint Nick

Last Follow Friday / Of two-thousand-eleven / I will get to you

So it's New Year's Eve / Everyone gets a new start / Better make it count!

Before it's over / Take some time to think about / What you'd do different

A few hours left / Then we all get a fresh start / Make the most of it!

So what happens now? / The Douglas-fir's on the curb / Emptiness sets in

Just another day / But a motivating force / Fostering success

Rumors are flying / Mezzo Mezzo a Five Guys? / Anyone hear this?

Sixty-five degrees / You took down those Christmas lights / Didn't you? Hope so.

Sanitation truck / Swallowed up my Christmas tree / Some needles remain

Look in the mirror / And fall in love with yourself / Because you're perfect

When you realize / That jealousy is poison / And NEVER worth it

Someone to share with / A meal, drink, conversation / Also share silence

Windy, snow flurries / Temps in the twenties and teens / Yes, I asked for this

Wasted emotion / The most destructive of all / Intense jealousy

Waiting patiently / Francis Cafe, please open? / You look promising!

When it gets this cold / The beer gets moved from my fridge / To the backyard steps

It's sixteen degrees / Not posting any pictures / Take my word for it

Colder than it looks / The sunlight is deceiving / Don't leave the house yet!

A short week ahead / Gonna be crazy stressful / I will do my best

Already thinking / About my lunch tomorrow / That's not wrong, is it?

My alter-ego / The one that gets up early / Wouldn't let me sleep

It's Garbage-Day-Eve / Visions of recyclables / Dancing in my head

Snow is on the way / And it's just my kinda snow- / Cute flakes that don't stick

Music to my ears / The radiator hissing / Cozy winter night

Shit Haikuists say / Revolve around syllables / And their surroundings

Hey, tenants upstairs / Easy on the hot-water / I'm showering too!

One to three inches / I can handle that, I think / ACCUMULATION

This weather's a tease / Be strong, fellow New Yorkers / Complacency kills!

Shawshank Redemption / Breaking through my office wall / To get to freedom

I urge all of you / To work through your lunch hour / And leave work early!

Hey Astorians / You interested in Pinterest? / I got some invites

Pre-Superbowl brunch / Trading beers for mimosas / And wings for croissants

Close to 900 / And many of you are real / Grateful and humbled

A nip in the air / January, remember? / I almost forgot

When you quote Lincoln / I hope you mean what you say / SHRINK THE GOVERNMENT

The truck is a sled / The crew, Santa and his elves / Landlords are children

A mild week ahead / Gonna do some outdoor ish / 60 on Wednesday?

Looked at real-estate / All over Whitestone today / ASTORIA ROCKS

Mid-30s today / And mid-50s tomorrow / 60 on Wednesday?

For the next two days / We will be previewing spring / Eat lunch outside folks!

A spring-fling today / You'll see her tomorrow too / And then she'll be gone

Don't overreact / It's only January / And this is a tease

Expected sunlight / Not overcast and rainy / F-you, weather-gods

The clouds have dispersed / Sky now matches the weather / But FEBRUARY?

Iced-coffee sighting / Not nearly as obnoxious / As wearing flip-flops

Groundhog is clueless / The last two months in New York / Already spring-like

Hey, A-hole driver / You should stop hitting your horn / Start hitting your brakes

Canon 7D / It's arriving this Tuesday / Thank you B&H

Gray and overcast / But it's really not that cold / Don't be afraid tweeps!

Watching "House Hunters" / And now I want to throw up / New York's too pricey

Watching YouTube vids / In the car via Bluetooth / Battery slayer!

An exciting night / For the Giants and their fans / The Superbowl Champs!

Gotta go to Mo's / Buy some New York Giants gear / Get my parade-on

Mid-50s this week / And a chance of snow Wednesday / W-T-F?

Hey Astorians / Please take care of each other / Be sheepdogs, not sheep!

Live 80-plus years / Only to be struck and killed / By some drunk asshole

I know it's cliche / But live life to the fullest / 'Cause you never know

Messed up my alarm / The "AM / PM" mistake

Got barbecue sauce / On my Patagonia shoes / Souvlaki mishap!

Leaving work early / It looks sofa king warm out / B-B-But it's not

Slacking the F off / Just don't have the F'in time / I'll F you next week

Or send me your best / If it's clean 5-7-5 / I will re-tweet you!

Winter twenty-twelve / Is that the best you could do? / Pathetic snowfall!

Landlord depression / No salt and no shoveling / Now what will they do?

Is this happening? / People cheering for Chris Brown? / He beats up women.

Just think about it / Could Chris Brown date your sister? / I didn't think so.

It's never too late / Find her favorite recipe / And make it happen

Another cold one / Radiators hissing hard / Thanks to my landlord

My little tweethearts / This day was made for haiku / I love all of you!

I've loved a few girls / And I think they loved me back / You made me better.

Guys in suits and ties / Bickering over millions / While we are blacked-out

Part of my childhood / Was being Gary Carter / God bless and thank you

Streaming funerals? / That just feels downright creepy / On many levels

Dreading that first step / Out of my steamy shower / Cold reality

No garbage pickup / No alternate-side cleaning / Landlords are pissed off

50's and 60's? / I suppose it's safe to say / Al Gore might be right

Alternate side rules / Suspended for tomorrow / Thank you Ash Wednesday!

Cough-cough-sneeze-sniffle / Taking a sick day today / Because I've earned it

This dreary Friday / Makes me so appreciate / Yesterday's weather

As soon as I say / "Got one-thousand followers," / One will unfollow.

I love Mom-and-Pop / Talked Mets with Rosario / Love my neighborhood

While we're live chatting / Hopefully entrepreneurs / Are listening

Always a pleasure / Kicking around great ideas / With my neighborhood

Ashes on Seacrest / Meryl does it once again / Silence is GOLDEN

Saw J-LO's nipple / Angelina Jolie's leg / Billy C's forehead

55 Monday / And on Wednesday we'll get snow / Enough already

Michelle in L.V. / Gwyneth a caped crusader / Clooney comes up short

Audio problems / MAJOR audio problems / Did you hear them too?

Itching for springtime / We all got a little taste / Reality check

"Leaping" on my mind / Thanks to Tastoriaqueens / Spring's on our doorstep

We're not playing golf / Fold up that huge umbrella / Too big for street-use!

Politics aside / I don't care what you believe / 43's too young

I just saw the sun / And for that one brief moment / Spirits were lifted

Out of underwear? / I can tell its laundry day / From your bikini

Tearing up my rug / Because I've been playing golf / In my living room

Officially DONE / I'm talking about winter / May I proclaim that?

This stupid weather / Is jacking up my spring-groove / So inconsistent

Sunny, windy, cool / It's the transition to spring / And it's fabulous

Warm breeze, bright sunlight / The conditions are perfect / For outdoor drinking

Almost 5AM / Mind is racing, heart pounding / Can't wait to go back

Technically winter / But you sure coulda fooled me / Today felt like spring

I am a psychic / Looking into the future / I see some "sick" days

A lot going on / On both the work and home fronts / Leaves fans wanting more

This week looks to be / Steady in the seventies / Spring is here to stay!

Nabe's about to bust / Like potential energy / Waiting for release

My outdoor spaces / Beer, barbecue and banter / It's pure perfection

Planning my escape / When the Warden turns his head / I will disappear!

Feel it on your skin / Smell it, taste it in the air / The change of seasons

Looking weird out there / Hazy, foggy, overcast / Longing for the sun

By the looks of it / You'd never think that today / Will reach the 80's

Working tomorrow / COUGH But something is COUGH COUGH / Bothering me COUGH

It's downright balmy / Like 80 degrees out there / I need a beer, stat!

I would continue / To knock your effing socks off / With kick-ass haiku

Awoke this morning / Wait- it's Thursday? Not Friday? / O-M-F'n-G

A fortune-teller / Told me she sees a sick-day / In this guy's future

I like FF-ing / All day long, multiple times / You feeling lucky?

Last week, iced coffee / This week, soup and hot chocolate / Next week, _________. Anyone?

Cloudy, gray, and blah / Saturday in a nutshell / Better on Sunday?

I'm quitting haiku / And Twitter altogether / Happy April Fools!

Moving to Brooklyn / Specifically, Williamsburg / Happy April Fools!

Hitting the Thrift-store / Gonna get some skinny-jeans / Happy April Fools!

Gonna go pick up / Some non-alcoholic beer / Happy April Fools

My Twitter is weird / April Fools' Day stuff aside- / Is your Twitter weird?

Still cloudy and gray / At least it isn't raining / Now we need the sun

Warmer temperatures / Dry and sunny, mid 60's / Next week looking good

Another psychic / Saw ramen in my future / I will not object

Slimming down Twitter / Following too many feeds / You made the first cut!

Kentucky Wildcats / Best players money can buy / National Champions

Such a perfect day / I'm ripping Lou Reed's lyrics / But it really is

It's Opening Day! / New York Metropolitans / Prepared for heartbreak

Tiger just average / I'm talking about golf yo / Huge passion of mine

Rooting for Rory / Phil, Hunter, Rose or Westwood / Anyone but Woods

Whatever your faith / Make the most of this weekend / 'cause you deserve it

48 hours / How will you spend your weekend? / Choose wisely. Kick ass.

On the third day, He / descended into Walgreens / And bought Peeps half-price

Perfect spring weekend / Family, friends, good eats, good drinks / Couldn't ask for more

Long day tomorrow / Won't be haikuing that much / Gotta pay the bills

All I do is count / On my fingers, in my mind / I do it for YOU

So it's official / Family first, followed by GOLF / My priorities

Watch the seasons change / When you plug in your camera / And upload old pics

Hey there Jenny L / Smile and always remember / Somebody loves you

Slaughtered my workload / Don't you love when that happens? / Day-job superstar

Everyone RELAX / It's just a thermal illusion / It's not summer yet

A warm week ahead / It's gonna be difficult / Maintaining focus

Weather? Politics? / A lot in common these days / Flip-floppin, no-good

Casinos are sad / Those old-folks tethered to slots / So depresses me

Absence makes the heart / Grow fonder for someone else? / Say it isn't so!

Whoa! Wicked thunder! / White lightning across the sky / Now here comes the rain

Reservoirs thirsty / For some much needed showers / So rain baby, rain!

Car alarms don't work / Unless the goal's to annoy / Then yes, they do work

Car alarm won't stop / Where is my wire-cutter? / About to go rogue

Twitter is quiet / Meanwhile, outside my window / THIS ALARM WON'T STOP

Don't buy a Prius / Don't need to start composting / Just reuse something

Just use common sense / Don't be a pig or d-bag / And the Earth will thrive

Turn off that engine / When you are parked in your car / It's cumulative

Ground saturated / Gutters are overflowing / I'm crying "uncle."

Cold, gray and gloomy / Weather in sync with my mood / Waiting for the sun

In the coming week / We'll barely crack the 60's / It's hot versus iced!

Astoria is / The Queen of all neighborhoods / Come see for yourself

The sun's playing games / Ready-or-not, here-I-come / Can't hide forever

Awoke to sunny / And ate breakfast to cloudy / I'm not liking this

Mets sweep Miami / Reyes was a non-factor / Couldn't ask for more

We turn to hockey / New York Rangers Game 7 / Couldn't ask for more

The NFL Draft / Luck, Griffin the Third, then what? / Jets will mess this up

Crisp, cool and windy / Clear blue sky, sunny, serene / It was a great day

85 degrees / I'm eagerly awaiting / So UGGS go away

Dreaded endeavor / Storage-unit, L.I.C. / Spring-cleaning mission

Outside for a stroll / Newspaper, coffee, bagel / Love Astoria!

Croissants tomorrow / At Patisserie Pistache / I will let you know

It's finally May / And my favorite time of year / Astoria spring

As I remember / Isn't it "April showers?" / Someone please tell May

Fifteen years ago / I would be striking today / But I'm an adult

Again with the rain? / I guess it's good for the drought / Bad for my psyche

I left before six / Your secret is safe with me / Saw your walk of shame

O-M-F'in-G / Is that the sun in the sky? / Where ya been gorgeous?

Overcast AGAIN / Haven't had good sun in DAYS / Give me what I WANT

The sun is trying / To burn through the cloud-layer / And to make me smile

If I had a gun / Pen would still be mightier / Than the sword, bitches

Another crap day / I can't take much more of this / Miss playing hooky

The sun's kinda out / And it's also kinda not / Feelin' kinda good!

It's starting to feel / Like the longest week EVER / It's only Tuesday?

More effing rainfall / This is driving me insane / Someone make it stop

Thank God for the Mets / The only beam of sunshine / In the last few days

I just saw the sun / I immediately smiled / Please, stay for awhile?

Mets sweep the Phillies / Capitals force Game Seven / Knicks go down in five

There's a new speed-bump / Taking drivers by surprise / On 21st Ave.

Okay, FYI / It's PERFECT outside right now / Get up and GET OUT

Philadelphia / History, architecture / And brotherly love

I miss my mother. / Think about her every day. / In all that I do.

Bittersweet Sunday / For those who've lost your Mothers / You know what I mean

These jackass drivers / Love hearing them bottom out / At the new speed-bump

Out of town this week / Major procrastinating / I'll pack tomorrow

Skinny-jeans and flats / Womens' travel-uniform / And I'm loving it!

Twitter and Foursquare / Make traveling bearable / Barely bearable

In the Lone Star State / But not really the cool-part / More like the armpit

Already miss home / That didn't take very long / Astoria Love

It's happy hour / I'm very very happy / I'm very happy

Another hot one / Humidity killing me / June weather in May

Funny how Twitter / Can make you feel like you're home / Even when you're not

Congratulations! / Four or five years of hard work / Stratospheric debt

The sky is falling / Justin Bieber in GQ? / WTF

Tonight's sports results / Have me feeling fortunate / That I'm in Texas

Losing an hour / Really doesn't bother me / I'm gaining so much

When the bell goes off / They all rise to their feet. Sheep! / There's nowhere to go!

Airport food options / It's where "bagels" and "croissants" / Taste like Wonder Bread

Great weekend ahead / Back home in Astoria / Best nabe in New York!

Outdoor perfection / Get outside and enjoy it / You'll be glad you did

Who's readin' a book / And sippin' an iced coffee / In Astoria?

I'll Have Another / Is coming up to Belmont / For the Triple Crown!

Played golf in Brooklyn / But I prefer Douglaston / Cause proximity

On tap for Sunday / A Mother's Day do-over / Endless gratitude

Bedford Avenue / Hipster Mecca it may be / Better than Steinway

Opossum sighting / That is one ugly creature / Too scared to take pics

I'm out of haiku / Not really, just for tonight / Under the weather