The noise of LEGO / Indiana Johns sounds same / as LEGO Batman.

The noise of LEGO / Indiana Jones sounds same / as LEGO Batman.

Going on age 12 / My son likes guns rap graffiti / And playing with dad

First they wanted name / The Eurovision Grand Prix / As Europe’s Grand Wank

I wanna rather / Write some haikus all day long / Then draw all this shite

When it's dark at night / My cat goes in the garden / Only if I join him

I just have planted / Panicum virgatum and / noted no panic

While viewing pictures / I see that ten years before / my nose looked younger

I can't read more than / Hundred and forty letters / Without dropping off

This school will be closed / Now they are searching on Mars for / Intelligent life.

My cat only goes / In the garden when it’s dark / And kids are sleeping

When I was a kid / I hated football so much / No team engaged me

My favorite sports / Are table tennis, jogging, / and surfing the web

Woke up at seven / By downstairs neighbour's lone roar / A nasty routine

My cat jumped onto / My keyboard 'cause he’s a tough / Attention seeker

Twitter has sorted / Out this morning some of my / Spambot followers

dear readers please bear / with my tweets which are rather / North Korean.

there are so many / witty tweets I could draw an / hourly cartoon with

Calamari and / Calamagrostis x acu / Are two pairs of shoes

I do often wish / the financial world were a / different planet

Harvesting cherries / I love this work although it / makes my belly hurt

I hope my cracked ribs / Will realise some day that / We are on the mend

Last night our neighbours / downstairs lit a fire basket / and smoked us like fish

I don't like August / It smells like summer's end and / my birthday party.

Dentist "I'll go on / holidays and by the way / this tooth must go too"

If you see a guy / wearing sunglasses at night / ask him 'bout the mine

Just realizing / not for a long time have I / written a haiku