Best player ever / With the name Vernon. Ok / Blue Jays lets play ball

I'm Stevie, not Steve / All I do is catch touchdowns / And sometimes drop them

Oh urinal puck / Please use your smell killing skills / On smelly fat guys

Leaving playoff games / Early to "beat the traffic" / Embarrass yourself

When Miller proclaims / "I don't give an expletive" / I grow one for team

Write stupid haikus / While blowing off assignments / Nerd or boring job?

No home in Vermont / Is complete without mailbox / In cement bucket.

Priorities change / Must let job performance slip / Must win Words With Friends

Casey Anthony / Prison sex done, move on to / "Octomom Sex Tape"

Insomnia blows / I'll sleep tomorrow because / Reason Will Prevail

Leaves falling like rain / Thank you mother nature, but / F U, I just raked

The worst show ever? / Nowhere plot with bad actors / Its The Walking Dead

I am Jill's nipple / Nobody looks at Jill's eyes / They all look at me

When I think about / Jack's colon or Jill's nipple / I am Jack's cold sweat

Auto repair shop / First thing on Friday morning / Smells like old man's cough

Coworkers bowling / While they cheer for strikes and spares / I order more beer

My wife spoons in bed / With me? No. New lover? No / German Shepherd? Yes

Vet says she needs to / "Express your cat's anal glands" / I "expressed vomit"