Romance is boring / I want something that's more fun / I want a Nerdmance

The pain in my head / a particular kind, like / being crushed by thighs

You there, boy in shorts / what prick told you it was cool / to wear those pink socks?

I should be working / but I'm eating candycanes / it's RETARDED boss

Soggy bread is strange / Soggy onions may be worse / Together? Magic.

I don't think my life / sweet and low as it can be / can handle your shit.

Hey there bro / call me 'Babe' again / I'll CUT you.

Oh, Pasta Salad / You delicious salad, you / Get inside me. NOW.